Sex starts off from a fantasy, but we only ever find out about the real pleasures of sex when we experience it. Growing up we are constantly taught how to act like a lady, compose ourselves with class and taking care of our physical appearance, which is great BUT not enough. We learn the intricate details of what it means to ‘act like a lady’. From the very beginning we are told the caliber of men we should allow into our lives and we taught the integrity of modesty in dressing, but we are never taught about our sexuality and how it should be used.
We start off in relationships knowing how to be ‘a lady in the street’ but then struggle with being ‘a freek in the sheets’, because nobody has ever taught us that part. We constantly rely on the images we see on Social Media to define sexuality to us and it takes a while to become comfortable with who we are, in this area.
After having sex for the first time there is rarely anyone that we as women can really speak to, because sex is a very sensitive topic and almost a taboo when speaking with the matured and experienced. I cannot speak for everyone but this is definitely my view. We are therefore left with no options but to share with our friends who, most times, are equally as inexperienced as we are. However the more we have sex, the more we find out about ourselves and our sexual preferences. It may take a partner to work us through this experience. But it is a shame that it is the very same teachers “these partners” who may eventually end up hurting us or sowing insecurities within us.
I believe we as women should be taught to embrace who we are and our sexuality from young. We should have a place where we learn to embrace our femininity with full understanding of our power as women. I believe as women we have great power and our sexuality forms a big part of this. With knowing this we should take great responsibility knowing that our bodies should not be given to just anyone but ought to be respected, protected and held in high esteem, because nothing prepares a woman for such transition.
That is why in my book ‘Resusitate Me’ I explore some of these issues, emphasising the importance of not losing ourselves, in the process of giving ourselves.
I hope you enjoyed reading this Blog and I look forward to hearing from you and reading your comments below.