The need for Affirmation

The grown men we see with our physical eyes may still emotionally be young boys seeking stability, reassurance, affirmation and love. There is a void within that needs to be filled and constantly spoken into life, despite the outward appearance


He still needs guidance and reassurance about the decisions he is making. As a young child he may have received that praise from him parents, caregivers or older siblings but now as a grown man the world have laid expectations on him and assumes that he should know how to get there on his own. He wants to feel he is in control even if his not and he is trying the best he can.


Even worse when he has no male role model and does not quite know how to fulfill his role as a male. He has no prior footprints he can follow so looks at the paths others have taken. He imagines a role within his mind and somehow allows society and community’s  to mold him into the man ‘he thinks’ he should be. But within he is scared, just like anyone else, because he is responsible and accountable for a role that he is not really familiar with or ready for. But how or who can he admit this to without his masculinity being questioned? .


He wants to be acknowledged, praised and appreciated for his efforts and does not always know how to go about seeking this. So he seeks power assuming this path would fulfill the above. At times the depth of this insecurity could lead to him putting others down just to feel better about himself, or demanding respect and submission from others. It could even lead to him being violent in order to create a fear factor in others as a form of affirmation…as strange as this may sound! Even down to his sexual performance a man seeks affirmations whether he verbalizes this or not!


I believe affirmation plays a big role in a man’s life and should not be underestimated. I believe he wants to be acknowledged for the man he is, praised for what he has done and appreciated for his efforts.



Dear Kings please do not be afraid to express your feelings, do not be disheartened when or if your efforts are overlooked or when it seems like you fall short or can not do right. Please do not become frustrated. You are great even if that is not regularly acknowledged. I want you to learn to acknowledge that in yourself and learn to encourage and affirm yourself, because until you learn to be honest with yourself it will difficult for you to accept the honesty and love of someone else. As men your loved and looked up to. I believe there is so much pressure put on you because there is so much greatness within you. So stop hiding, put your guards down and put on your mantle on. We are cheering for you no matter what direction you are running in. We believe in you, so start believing in yourself.


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Have a lovely Week

Love Crystal Williams UD


Crystal Williams UD is the founder of Thinking Out Loud which is a conference held each year that encourages self love, promotes self-worth and most importantly empowers to feel comfortable in the skin that they are in. Crystal Williams is an affluent Poet, Motivational Speaker and Author. Her books have sold worldwide in the UK, Canada and USA.

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