This is a conversation that seems to have a string of never ending thoughts and opinions.
On the one hand I have heard the passion from many Black women that stemming back from history black men have been ‘taken away’, through death on a tree ,to being sold and black women have been left alone raising the kids. Many say that modern day slavery have changed the way slavery looks but the same things are happening, with black men being locked up in prison, killed by people in authority or within them selves due to the structure of society and now by being coerced by society to choose other races to have family’s with. The black women in this line of thought feels abandoned by the Black and feels he has given up his identity; forgotten the struggle and left behind those who waited patiently beside him, fighting the same fight for freedom.
Another line of thought is that society and social media has lead to the increase in interracial relationships, who often portray the lighter the skin tone you are the more attractive you become. This has generated a society that bleaches their skin to become more ‘beautiful’ and leading people to want mixed heritage children and thereby choosing other races or lighter skinned partners in hope that this skin tone will rub off on their children. Leaving darker skin men and women feeling inferior. BUT all shades are beautiful all the way across from black to white, we are beautiful in our differing ways.
Other thoughts have come from a place of hurt and experience. I have spoken with people who witnessed things in their own tradition, and culture that makes them want nothing to do with it. They are put off by their own culture, race and traditions and choose to date outside of that, in hope of something different for their future.
Others tell me that society is reading way too much into ‘race.’ Black men and women in interracial relationships have told me that they know who they are, they are very much aware of their roots, but this does not determine who they fall in love with. I am told that Love has no colour and it is society that creates those boundaries.
To conclude, I do not think a person looses their identity because they choose to be in an interracial relationship. Everyone has their own definition of beauty and what attracts them to the persons they meet. I am told love is in the eyes of the beholder. Love is beautiful so let us not break love down into shades of skin colours, let us find love within our preferences and enjoy what we each have without judging others whose choices and preferences are different from ours.
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Crystal Williams ud