The hopeful Participant is the ‘side chic’ who engages in a relationship with a male who is still in a relationship with someone else, but remains hopeful that one day she will be the main and only woman in his life. The ‘side chics’ that usually fall into this category do not always consider themselves to be side chics; and shockingly do not always have the intention of invading someone else’s relationship.
Usually these are lured through the words of a man rather than his actions. For example; the male may promise them that he intends to leave his partner and make excuses that he does not want to be with his partner anymore the relationship has broken down, he wants something new and he sees what he wants in this ‘side chic’. He does his best to make her feel special but… placed on hold. Therefore she is aware that there is a woman in the picture, she knows that he is still with his lady but the hope that they will be breaking up ‘soon’ keeps the ‘side chic’ hopeful and eager to remain patient and please him. This type of ‘side chic’ often defends her behavior; even if years have gone by and they are still in the same predicament.
The Hopeful Participants are rarely introduced to family and if they are introduced, it is usually as a ‘friend’. Usually they meet in secluded and private places, although they may appear to have some form of friendship; generally the relationship is mainly that of a sexual nature OR she is constantly doing favors for him e.g lending him money (that he never pays back), lending him her car e.t.c. Before the Hopeful Participant knows she has developed strong feelings for him and finds it difficult to leave. But she remains a ‘side chic’ when:
She refuses to accept the situation as it is
Although she believes what he is telling her, she does not wait for him to finish from his so called ‘broken relationship’ and engages in a relationship with him anyway, on the basis of Hope. A Hope that will string her into the role of a ‘side chic.’
She refuses to shut the door
Although she may grow tired of waiting, she refuses to fully shut the door on the relationship; she wants to maintain ‘the friendship’ between them. So she steps away from being his ‘side chic’. She seems strong at first but the chemistry between them remains fluent and once her guards are down he reassures her again, that he wants to be with her, and only her, but pleads that she gives him a bit more time, explaining the ‘complications’ behind the break up. This time he puts a little bit more effort into chasing her and she believes him, and then falls back into the same cycle of being a ‘side chic’ waiting for him to finally break up with his partner; until she grows tired again.
She continues to hold onto his words
Too much time has already passed her by and she is fully aware of the situation and in her heart knows there is a possibility that he may never leave his partner, but nonetheless she continues to hold onto his words, almost like a comforting blanket. She remains hopeful but frustrated within. At times the ‘side chic’ in this relationship find themselves being pregnant and secretly having children for this man, but not allowed to reveal it to anyone…
Abstracts from my book “Women Side chics and the Others”
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