Involuntary victims are women who enter the relationship without knowing that he has another woman in his life. They build a relationship with the man and then at some point in the relationship discover that he is in another relationship or is even married with kids. At first she is devastated, disappointed and even angry but then falls into the category of a side chick when she chooses to remain in a relationship with him anyway and they still continue to have a sexual and emotional relationship. She is a side chic because:


She allows her emotions to lead

She is now fully aware that he has another relationship, which he is committed to, but she does not want to let go of the relationship because she values what they have built over that period of time and she has developed strong feelings for him. Also she may feel like she has invested too much into their relationship to just leave, so she remains in the relationship; often with the hope that he will one day leave the main woman he is with for her.


She is persuaded and does not shut the door

She allows him to persuade her, and says he is sorry and declares his feelings for her; and somehow she begins to accept the situation. In leaving the door of communication open to him, she is also keeping her feelings open to him and giving him a doorway to re-enter and keep her in his life as a ‘side chic’.


Abstract from my book “Women, side chic and the others”


Have a blessed week, Please subscribe and leave a comment would love to hear your views.

By Crystal Williams



Crystal Williams UD is the founder of Thinking Out Loud which is a conference held each year that encourages self love, promotes self-worth and most importantly empowers to feel comfortable in the skin that they are in. Crystal Williams is an affluent Poet, Motivational Speaker and Author. Her books have sold worldwide in the UK, Canada and USA.

5 comments on “INVOLUNTARY VICTIM- Side chic

  1. “She is now fully aware that he has another relationship, which he is committed to, but she does not want to…” committed to…? If he was committed there would be no side chick in the first place…


    • He is committed to the other relationship outside of this woman but the side chic is fully aware of this and still does not want to let go of him.

      Bt your right if he was committed he would not cheat in the first place.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. once he steps out there is no version of this where the use of the word committed is applicable… I have a problem with the way people lay all the blame on the woman…let me not say have a problem… I have a soft spot for side chicks. They get all the blame as if the men aren’t just as culpable… case in point, you are saying the side chick is fully aware of his relationship status and does not want to let go but is he letting go? does she have a gun to his head forcing him to make advances toward her…? If that’s the case then by all means blame her but it’s mutual ground and both are to blame… I feel a sermon coming on so I will end here…lol… This topic really hits a nerve because I was in that position involuntarily and it sucked… its crazy…

    might I suggest you take a look at this post which speaks to the same issue here… thanks much…


    • I love your response. I hear you , I hear you and I definitely hear you. Of course the letting go is mutual. However as this book is focused on women it aims to empower a women to reflect on why she allows him back into her life. It aims to address those strong emotions and the hurt that comes with the thought of letting go. The man could let go also, but he is eating his cake and still having it, because he knows that her emotions are invested in him and he will take as much as she will allow him to. But when she ‘the woman’ is empowered she will leave him and he will have no door to return back to. I do know that this is hard to do, but the earlier on this is recognised in a relationship, the sooner she will be able to close the door- before getting stuck in the same cycle for years and coming back to this conclusion.

      AND… I accept your point of correction; If he steps outs the word committed can no longer be attached to him! I look forward to reading the post in the link.x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Gurl it’s a phenomenon Ive yet to understand. But there really is some serious gaslighting that goes on in these types of relationships which aim to chip away at esteem and confidence, leaving women vulnerable and confused. Ive been there and it’s serious mind blowing games…the lies… ugh… it really isnt as easy as ‘okay im letting this shot go.” These type of men are schooled in deception and manipulation and have no problem whatsoever stringing these two wpmen along and the main chick is also a victim and maybe more of a victim than the side chick because she is brainwashed version of what this man wants his woman to be.

        Liked by 1 person

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