From the small being growing within the womb. From birth the mother acts as a shield and uplifter of her child. Enduring every pain that comes with it. The mother is forced to change her life style to accommodate the beautiful gift within, being careful what she eats, what she does and how she behaves. Knowing that everything she does affects the vulnerable being within. She allows her body to shift, very much a reflection of how life will shift and change once baby is born.
Every time the baby kicks the mother feels the brunt of it, just as it is in life. The mother emotionally takes the brunt of every pain the chid endures in life, finding ways to cushion the blow and reassure her child that all will be well.
Then comes the birthing pains. Pushing out with all the energy she has to give baby life. This moment very much sums the love of a good mother. She gives with her all, enduring birthing pains long after she has given birth to ensure her child gets the life and future she feels they deserve. To give them life and as they kick back during moments of tantrums or teenage years’ mother takes the blows with her stride, trying her best to push the pain aside and not loose sight of her baby.
A good mother whilst trying to pursue her dreams will make the necessary sacrifices to ensure her child does not do without. The love that oozes from her protects her baby from the pain she herself carries.
She encourages and praises everything her child does from the first babies, to the first crawl, to the first step, to the first days of school, work, pay, relationship. She is a never ending support system, a source of security a bosom of life. From the very first day the child suckled on the mother’s breast, a child never really departs from there. Mother is always the feeder, the giver, the comfort that the child grows and leans on.
A mother who looks at a child with so much hate and spits venom, only spits venom at herself. She speaks negative words but really she is pouring out the misery she has within. For a baby does not choose to arrive on their own, someone makes that choice for them. It is then unfair to bring a child into the world and cause it so much misery. A child is no doubt a lot of work, it takes selflessness and love to raise. They come into the world empty and rely on your every word, movement and action to help them define who they are. Even without a father present the mother is able to carry the child alone just as she did when baby was in the womb.
Please do not hate baby for the mistakes of their father. Please do not shove baby aside to chase the love of a man who cannot love you enough to take on the gift that you have. Please neglect your baby for the love of yourself, baby needs you and even when they grow they do not stop needing you. The shift and movement in life never quite stops.
Whilst I encourage that a woman should never loose herself, raising your child has now become a part of who you are and often striking a balance can be difficult, but not impossible. Those who struggle because you did not have a female role model to show you what a love of a selfless mother should look like do not fret, they are places you can seek help and support for this. (links are below).
Those who are contemplating whether or not to become a parent gripped by fear. Have faith in yourself. Read up things on motherhood, hang around those who you deem to be good parents and make you feel like being a parent and develop yourself, prepare yourself. Although nothing really fully prepares you for being a parent, there are some things that makes the journey that much easier.
To all the selfless mothers. Thank you for being you. Thank you for taking part in enabling us with our identity. And all those fathers’ who had to step in the place of our mothers, we appreciate you more that words can express.
Have a blessed week
Lots of love