Is it a good idea to tell your partner how many people you have been with?

Well what are your honest thoughts?

This is a subject often spoken about. Is it healthy to tell your partner how many people you have been with before them? Whether it is 1 other person or more than you wish to remember. For me I always wonder what the purpose of this question is? Why is it relevant to the relationship? I have never heard this topic come about and seen anyone fully satisfied with the responses or answers they receive. Either they squint their eyes and question their partner’s honesty or they look at each other with a little bit more caution.


Which brings me back to the question ‘why is this information important?’ Often any information being sourced about a person’s past is only a tool used to judge them and try to predict your future with them; which could still lead to you being terribly wrong. But what is it about body count that intrigues you about your partner or vice versa?


I was once having this conversation with a group of people, obviously with some alcohol involved. Someone in the group said their body count never goes past two no matter how many people they have been with. They never tell their partner more than 2 people. The reason for this is that in the event that they bump into any of their exes then they will account for the two they had previously mentioned, which I found this fascinating.


The conversations I had somewhat reminded me of the film ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ I will never forget the reaction on his face after he received a response from his wife about how many men she had slept with and he was in shock about the number and her honesty, I can only presume.


Others inform me that after a relevant long term relationship, there is no point of speaking about anyone other than your ex; for example stating that if you have just come out of a long term relationship or marriage, body count before this time becomes irrelevant and somewhat unnecessary.


I wonder if people are honest with their friends about how many people they have been with, or presumably their close friends already know.


I guess it is one question after another!


I do not hope to come to any conclusion about what is right or wrong, but really to understand the reason people want to know each other’s body count and what difference that makes to the relationship. Is it an important factor?


I would love to hear your thoughts on this, leave a comment or message me.


Have a good week ahead

Love Crystal Williamsud



Crystal Williams UD is the founder of Thinking Out Loud which is a conference held each year that encourages self love, promotes self-worth and most importantly empowers to feel comfortable in the skin that they are in. Crystal Williams is an affluent Poet, Motivational Speaker and Author. Her books have sold worldwide in the UK, Canada and USA.

2 comments on “Is it a good idea to tell your partner how many people you have been with?

  1. Most men do not like to hear the truth, if you have a high body count, they consider you a slut. Some may not want to wifey you base on the amount of sexual partners you had in the past. This why many women shy away from telling the truth.
    Which I why I think that it is not a good idea to tell your partner the amount of sexual account you’ve had. Some truth are better left unsaid.


    • That is true. I honestly don’t see why it is important. If you love that person then love them for who they are when you meet them. I don’t think digging does any good.

      Thank you for commenting.x


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